Nothin But Fuckin Love Songs vol. 4

OH HULLO! ✨👋🏻

How’s my Valentine!?!?! 💘

Yo remember when I had a lot of intense but well meaning things to say about love on Valentines Day when I dropped vol. 2 back in 2021? I just had such a moment looking back at that post now, it’s so beautiful to be able to witness myself at the beginning of this healing journey I’ve been on. I’ve really been committed to making space for everyone to feel loved since I got in the thick of this. (She’s always been such a sweet sweetie! 🥹)

So wild to think of how little space I was actually making for myself in that moment. 

It can be really hard to see the love around you, let alone be open to receive all of it. I didn’t realize just how bad I had gotten at receiving love until I was fortunate enough to enroll in yoga teacher training in the fall of last year. During the week when we were covering the heart chakra, we were told we would be doing an exercise where we were going to sit in a circle with our knees touching, hands on our knees, and then have someone sit in the center of the circle. That person was then supposed to make eye contact with you, say something they loved about you, and you were just supposed to take a breath and receive whatever they said while maintaining eye contact. 

You had to rotate and have this experience with every single person in the circle. 

Yeah. 

I remember thinking to myself, “OMG That sounds so uncomfortable. Watch, they’re going to make me go first or some shit.” 

THEY TOTALLY FUCKING DID. 😂 

Let’s just say thankfully(?) it was just about as overwhelming for everyone else as it was for me. 😮‍💨 I probably had the most snot on my hoodie tho 😪. It was so fucking sweet. We all got so much closer after that.

I’ll never forget that experience. It’s made me think a lot about how it seems like it’s become just as hard to receive love as it is to feel comfortable asking for it, and not just from other people, but also from ourselves. 

I’ve recently started to use love songs as a litmus test to see where I’m at with my relationship with myself on any given day. 🧪 If I catch myself hung up on a song and I’m feeling anxious as a result, I pay attention to how the lover is addressed in the song and show up for myself in that way. When the song goes back to feel good vibes that’s how I know I’ve done my job effectively. It’s a pretty cool concept to experiment with. I invite you to give it a try with your favorite love songs. Alternatively, as per usual, I’ve assembled another stack of songs from my stockpile for my annual offering, so if you’re open to receiving some love from me while you venture inward, amazing. You can also just listen to these and pretend like they’re all for you, too. You know how to love yourself best (or you should anyway), so take all the love you need from these pixels you’re interacting with right now. 

Sending you Lots of love, Valentine! 💖

[PLAY THE PLAYLIST] Nothin But Fuckin Love Songs Vol. 2

People get so fuckin weird about Valentine’s Day.

It is such a wild thing to observe.

Personally….I love Valentine’s Day. I’ve always liked that there’s a day where we go out of our way to share our love with each other and allegedly it’s not weird to be as extra as you wanna be.

I say allegedly because like… well what the fuck is this Galentines/Palentines day bullshit? Are we serious? You’re really that worried someone is gonna misinterpret your intentions? Or is this a solidarity thing for people who aren’t yet legally bound to someone? What is that?

Either way, you’re fuckin with the vibe when you throw around this unnecessary bullshit. Grow the fuck up. It’s Valentine’s Day and there is more than enough love to go around today, okay?

Also, I’ve been partner-less for most of them, too, so don’t start coming at me with some bullshit like, “Well over here it’s been Single’s Awareness Day basically forever, Kibbe”.

And trust me fam, I get it. It’s so easy to forget that we were taught out of loving each other freely and fearlessly. Remember when your age was still in single digits? That night before your school observed Valentines Day you got that box of corny ass mass produced ✨meaningful messages✨ and you went one by one through all of them assigning little love notes to everyone in class. Friends got the fun ones, crushes got the ones that seemed a bit more direct, and anyone else got whatever was left. Next day in class everyone distributed their Valentines and there would be this fun chatter about the messages or which cartoon franchise you went with for your Valentines. We never thought fuckin twice about giving everyone a Valentine back then. At least that’s how I remember that shit, along with handing out Care Bear ones at some point.

ANYWAY

We know I’m a song hoarder and that I like being able to identify a song for every occasion if possible, especially because a lot of times songs articulate a feeling or thought I’ve been sitting with better than I had been able to land on. With love songs though, it’s so interesting. Like I said, not a ton of relationships over my way, yet when prompted I can always send at least 20 in your direction at all times. I wouldn’t necessarily say love songs feel as carelessly mass produced as my Care Bear Valentines from 1st grade, but there are definitely more love songs than there are people at this point.

Either way I can tell that I’ve grown a lot as person since the last time that I compiled love songs for Valentine’s Day because as I was putting together this round of songs that I thought about how silly it is that I am able do this so easily. I started asking myself questions like: Am I really just cataloging vibes so I can provide more thoughtful recommendations than The Algorithm™ ever could? Am I trying to study love so I ✨do it right✨ if it ever shows up? Even scarier, am I studying these to see if I’ve been doing something wrong? Do I want someone to send these songs to me? Do I think all of these songs encompass just one person?

I think that last question is really fascinating given how weird people are about Valentine’s Day. We often think that one single person is going to arrive in our lives and that will mean that everything is better or easier because we have found someone we enjoy being with so much that we’d draw up some paperwork so we can collectively own assets or make important medical decisions for each other. But in the real world that’s not how it works. Most people don’t get married and evaporate from their former lives, never speaking to their friends or family ever again. If anything the result is two communities, not just two people, become one. And when shit hits the fan, I mean yeah you have someone RIGHT THERE at your side immediately to look out for you, but the way that person shows up for you is the result of the way their community shaped them, for better or for worse (see what I did there?).

To be clear, finding ✨your person✨ is WONDERFUL. I’m not tryna discount that at all. But it’s not some cure all that a lot of people seem to think it is. I don’t think you’re “fixed” or something because you find your person, mostly because I don’t think anyone is “broken” to begin with. If anything this person is just someone you agree to get really fucking vulnerable with, which ideally you’re already practicing varying levels of vulnerability with select members of your community prior to identifying this person. A person who is so special that you throw a very fancy party to celebrate. Even that, weddings would be fuckin trash without your friends and family there, so why do we choose to spend this particular day treating love like it’s something incredibly exclusive? I will spare you a wall of text about the capitalism bit here and just say IT’S SO LAME THAT THIS EXISTS AND I HATE IT VERY MUCH.

This all to say…. Happy Valentine’s Day.

Not Single’s Awareness Day. Not Palentine’s Day. Not Galentine’s Day.

Fuckin Valentine’s Day.

I love you. 💖

Let Brothertiger Be Your Guide On The Journey To Living A Life Of Authenticity In ‘Paradise Lost’

John Jagos of Brothertiger; photo credit: Alec Castillo

“I don’t think there was a specific moment,” explained Brothertiger mastermind John Jagos late into our recent phone call discussing the ethos of his latest album, “It’s just something I think about all the time.” Paradise Lost is yet another album serendipitously ripe for the reflective picking that has been delivered to us in quarantine. Although the album wrapped long before lockdown, I’m not sure there’s ever been a moment in the history of humankind where someone isn’t struggling with feeling confident in the defiant decision that’s made daily to live the most authentic version of one’s life. An act which, specifically here in America, is often frowned upon for not falling in line with the toxicity that is American Individualism, when it should instead be lovingly lauded. Jagos has frequently found himself triggered to address this phenomenon in both his everyday life in addition to his time in New York City specifically collaborating with other artists. “I think there is external pressure from just, you know, movies, TV, and just everyday life all around you. It’s just kind of, ‘This is where you should be in your life. This is what you should be doing,’” he detailed. “I feel like I see it all the time. I don’t know. I’ve seen a lot of people who I’ve worked with [...] who are very passionate about something yet they can’t really indulge in it because they have to do their *real job*.”

There are moments in Paradise Lost where I find myself convinced that Jagos is indulging enough for all of us, perhaps as a way to showcase a paradise we can all find within ourselves. An album that, in my impassioned albeit humble opinion, encapsulates the essence of retreating to nature for restorative means from start to finish. Opening with “Found”, featuring field recordings of birds chirping atop a bed of gently bubbling synths within the first few seconds, it blatantly signals while gently easing listeners into the flourishing and soothing soundscapes that are about to bless their ears for the next 46 minutes. “I’ve tended to lean more towards synth sounds that are a bit more like natural sounding [...],” he noted. “You know, they sound like a synthesizer but they don't sound super processed. I like when they have errors or kind of mistakes in them.” He adds, “[...] I tend to use a lot of analog synthesizers because you’re not gonna get the same exact sound out of it every time you turn it on because the analog circuitry just kind of allows for there to be randomness in a way. [...] I think with that a lot of the sounds for this album kind of were a bit more, earthy and natural in the sense that they were a bit more loose [...]. Loose to the grid. Loose to tuning. Just like loose to the constrictions of a song made a computer.”

While most of his previous material has been loosely based on friends or other people’s experiences, Paradise Lost comes from a very personal place. He recounted, “For this [album] I really was thinking a lot about where I wanna be and what I wanna be doing. Just about like being a young person and the expectations that you’re kind of expected to fulfill.” Carefully choosing his words, he volunteered the additional heartfelt observation, 

“A lot of friends, acquaintances, and family members, they all kind of just like follow a prescribed sort of path. And there’s nothing wrong with that. I’m not saying there’s anything wrong with that. I feel like there’s a lot of pressure and assumption that everyone kind of follows that path. I certainly haven’t because I’ve been pursuing music and my girlfriend’s an actor and she hasn’t been following that path either. [...] I just feel like it’s a stigma that is a part of our society that isn’t really... cool *laughs*.”

“I feel like there’s a lot of pressure and assumption that everyone kind of follows that path. I certainly haven’t.”

— Brothertiger

With that observation in mind, it should come as no surprise how intentional Jagos is with his messaging throughout the album, making sure to convey that no one has to navigate the complexities of finding the paradise within themselves all on their own. When you are ready to shed the stigma for yourself, he is ready to guide you on this introspective journey as the album drifts on to, “Mainsail”, where he doesn’t shy away from admitting that although even he himself feels lost at times making his way through this thing we call life, that the best way to get through those moments is to embrace those feelings head on, sailing into the tidal break instead of waiting for still waters. In the event you ever realize you’ve gone off course, he’s included a metaphorical north star in the form of the album’s lead single, “Livin’”, featuring a makeshift response for listeners to lean on as a morale boost when shedding external criticism: “I’m living my own life. I don’t care how I get mine. I’m living my own life”. All the more determined, he adds: “I keep my eyes to the sky like anyone else. I keep my nose to the grindstone workin’ myself. I put my hands to the fire and swallow my pride. I keep my deepest desires on an anchor line.” 

For the duration of the album you’ll find his eagerness to guide you on your own personal journey shimmering its through on tracks like, “Shelter Cove” (follow down to the river bend, I know the way), even if for whatever reason you were unable to reciprocate the same level of effort as heard on “Cannonball” (I know that I would reach for you. Would you reach for me? [...] I go my own way. Are you with me?). As with any first-class guide, getting you to your destination is a meaningful purpose to him and with songs like “My Canopy” he reminds you that he takes it to heart, perhaps occasionally a bit too much so, in the moments you abandon ship along the way (How could you go away? How could you end me? How could you fall away into the night? I can recover then. I can be anything. I can be anyone that you'd like). One of the most admirable things about approaching this subject matter is how he is vulnerable enough to admit in a song like, “Checking Out” that this quest you’re on together is actually less about the destination and more about the journey, which is ever evolving and requires a commitment to routinely reevaluating the course as a way to ensure it’s still serving its intended purpose (Do I wanna lay an anchor oceanside? Or drift about the open sea?). As always, it’s absolutely your call what you want to do, but he gives you permission to use any hesitations as a moment to steer back on track in the event you’ve wandered off. 

My personal favorite moment in this record is “Pyre”, a swift and very brief switch from mostly water based imagery to pure fire. Given the subject matter of the pair of tracks, it’s fairly obvious to a fellow transplant that they’re about his time living in Brooklyn pursuing a career in music. During our chat he shared the story of his first show in the city in 2010 at the now defunct but well renowned Glasslands Gallery, a place where many SKOA favorites graced with their presence. While he was still a college student in southern Ohio (his home state), upon being given the opportunity to perform at the space, drove 10 hours with the assistance of his girlfriend to the city the night before, performed, and then drove back to campus immediately after the show. As we reminisced about the music blogger boom of that era (which this very site was born during), I found it both admirable albeit a bit confusing to hear that in spite of such a story that he wasn’t convinced that he would have been able to see the same amount of success in his career if he had started his attempt further along in his life. Although his hesitancy is valid given how the evolution of music consumption since those days has resulted in a lot of noise with very little signal to elevate lesser known artists as effectively as blogs did back then, I find it hard to believe that someone so determined to transform himself into the kind of artist that wouldn’t be ignored in a metropolitan area as overwhelming greater New York that he envisions it literally engulfing him in flames in the process was ever going to fall by the wayside. 

I will say this, it was cathartic as fuck to convene for even a few moments of the conversation about our respective longevity in the city and confide in each other that while it’s a possibility that New York might not be our “forever home”, that it doesn’t strip of us of our title of being “real New Yorkers”, a title that people raised here love to weaponize, especially now during the current mass exodus brought on by the pandemic. We were in agreement that it’s more of a state of mind versus the amount of time your body has been within city limits. He shared, “I have a connection to the city. [...] I came here. I struggled and starved at the beginning[...]. I wanted to prove that I could make it work and you know, cultivate something. And I did! So for that, I feel like New York is a state of mind that I can take with me.” Since I went out of my way to double check with him then, I feel like I should make it clear for both of us now: neither Paradise Lost or what you’re reading right now should be interpreted as our own personal, “Why I’m Leaving New York” essays, but from the sounds of things we are both keeping our options open. “I don’t want to be in one place,” he said. “Especially while I’m young. This was a great place for me to be in my 20s and now I’m 30 so you know...time to go! *laughs*” 

“I have a connection to the city. [...] I came here. I struggled and starved at the beginning[...]. I wanted to prove that I could make it work and you know, cultivate something. And I did! So for that, I feel like New York is a state of mind that I can take with me.”

— Brothertiger

Of all the things I’ve come to treasure about Paradise Lost since my first taste, the thoughtful little details that extend beyond the way he wields a warbling synth are definitely some of my favorites. Unbeknownst to most, Jagos has been featuring his father’s oil based paintings as the artwork for his most recent bodies of work, including for Paradise Lost and its accompanying singles, “Livin’”, “Shelter Cove”, and title track. 

As he detailed, 

“[The album artwork is] a painting my dad did back in the 80s. [...] I've always really liked the painting because it's like it's kind of dark and brooding in a way. Him and I have always been…. like we work in a similar way. [...] He recalls events of his past in a way in his paintings, but he also paints his dreams and things like that. I’ve just always had a connection to his artwork [...]. This record was, I feel, very west coast [...]. A lot of these paintings he did when he was living in Santa Barbara, so that’s another thing why it just makes sense. A lot of these paintings are kind of scenes of places I was thinking of in my mind when I was writing. So it kind of just worked out perfectly.”

As much as I was admittedly a little jealous to learn the extent to which his passion was supported by his family, I definitely have to give the man props for not only being able to recognize how beautiful and rare that is at present, and what he chose to do with that perspective in terms of how I assume it informed this record as a result. “Luckily my family’s extremely supportive of what I do,” he said. “I didn’t get any pressure from my family like my parents being like, ‘Okay well like you know you’re doing this it’s great but maybe you should like consider like you know A REAL JOB’ *laughs* stuff like that. They never did that and they still are super supportive of me. [...] I had friends who wanted to do something and their parents were like, ‘Well you’re going to get a business degree.’ It’s just like... it sucks.”

Rounding out the record with the title track, Jagos reinforces how important it is that we all venture out on this journey to becoming the most authentic version of ourselves. He recognizes that although our respective quests may begin during various points in our lives and take us to a variety of places along the way (You and I move through life on a different route. Comes down to the paths we pursue.), that the mere act of chasing the destination will always be what makes life worth living regardless of how long we’re at it (Realize that it takes time to see things through What’s the point of living high without a view?). Although obviously championing how deeply transformative this kind of kind of inner work can be on a person, he is still very adamant that “paradise” is just as much a state of mind as being a New Yorker is, as he clarified,

 “No matter where you live, like anywhere, it’s never going to be *the perfect place*. There’s going to be problems with it. [...] Actual paradise I don’t think *exists* on this earth. But it’s fine. It’s totally okay to accept that. It’s kind of like a call to accept some things for the way they are. And that’s like a personal call for myself[...] If you can take the place where you are, the place where you were, and think of it like a learning experience or think of it as a place where you’re cultivating something then it becomes a sort of paradise for you in terms of like... this is like the only life you have. So it’s like, you know, you shouldn’t think of things as mistakes, just more of learning experiences.”

Paradise Lost is out now courtesy of Satanic Panic Recordings.

[RANT] Bands, Please Fucking Design Merch For Bodies That Aren't Just Mens

I hate to rain on my own parade amidst the launch of the limited edition deluxe version of Hyperspace complete with an ABSOLUTELY STUNNING visualizer of aforementioned album that were generated via an AI that was utilizing NASA JPL footage, but while the feelings are still fresh and I have a second, I’d like to share the experience of ✨Being A Super Fan Who Is Also A Womxn✨. ICYMI, in addition a truly beautiful and well made web experience that Beck made in collaboration with NASA, my favorite all time artist also unveiled a bunch of limited edition merchandise for pre-order to coincide with the collab.

Keep in mind that currently we are at the intersection of probably two of my favorite things: Beck and space. We can even add in the AI usage component into it, too. So, yeah, I was definitely hype. I was triple hype, even. So much so that I arranged my day around making myself available for the rollout of this because in addition to sharing a collective hype moment with other Beck fans, I know as a fan that scarcity is a thing and if there’s limited edition anything you can’t sleep on that shit.

So there I am, the deluxe version now pumping through my ears after watching the “Hyperlife” video premiere on YouTube (knowing that I’ll spend even more time absorbing those videos this evening), browsing the merch, when I see that there’s a shirt for “Dark Places”, a song that I have used to soothe me on my way out of a really rough patch of life, and click through to the detail page.

Within seconds I’m disappointed.

Please take a moment to look at the shirt below and tell me if anything calls out to you just at a quick glance. Don’t spend too much time on it, just take like…3 seconds.

images of Beck’s recently unveiled limited edition “Dark Places” shirt

Did anything stand out to you?

Knowing that I am in a particularly nitpicky mood today because my favorite things happen to be all working in concert for this particular moment, I used my go-to gut check on my reaction to this: the group text of girlfriends. Please observe:

That response was so fast I thought at first I thought she was responding to something else we had been talking about, but seconds later everyone else chimed in with their reaction and disappointment with the design choices on my behalf.

So why was I disappointed to see this?

Because boobs.

I got ‘em. Half the planet has ‘em, a lot of them are even trying to make theirs bigger. Boobs make designs like this look shitty. As my friend so quickly pointed out, that space blob is either going directly on one of my boobs or will be hidden directly under it.

Now I know someone on the world wide web might be skimming this rolling their eyes like, “JFC Kibbe there are multiple shirts just get one of the other ones why are you letting this upset you so much? 🙄” And yes, there’s another short sleeve design and a long sleeve one. But look at that long sleeve shirt. Do you see where the celestial body on the front would lay on a human body that resembles mine? Directly over my left chesticle all big as hell. 😑

I’m not trying to have a solo space titty right now, or probably ever. I’m just trying to be an AI Generated Beck Babe In Space™, you feel me? But because my body doesn’t appear to have been taken into consideration, I now am basically forced into one option unless I want to take a chance on the other two.

Do you know how incredibly frustrating that is?

Especially if you focus in on the NASA part of this equation for a second. NASA is constantly championing womxn in STEM in order to attract girls to get involved at an early age because there’s such a huge gender gap. To be clear, I cannot praise the work they did on this Hyperspace activation enough in terms of how beautiful the site and the videos look. I also adore how much they went out of their way to link to specific missions where the original footage for the videos came from. It’s not just a rich experience, it’s fucking gorgeous.

URL vs. IRL though…😞 They robbed me of some well deserved joy as someone so deeply passionate about both. The FOMO is real! 😩

I feel like I should make it clear that it’s really uncomfortable for me to point this out because overall from a design standpoint for his merch offerings, I’d say dude normally does a pretty good job of not letting this happen. Also because, you know, 💥I’m probably just being an overly sensitive womxn about this and when womxn stick their necks out on the internet weird shit happens.💥

But if you’re not a womxn, let me ask you something:

How often are you taking your body parts into consideration when you’re browsing a merch store (or pre-covid, a merch table)? Is it every single time?

Goddamn it sure is for me. This is something that since I have been old enough to go to shows by myself (which was well after puberty hit) that I have had to think about. I have no doubt other womxn are in the same boat. I see band shirts as the opportunity to invest in an artist that I love and have bragging rights about it. I fucking love them. Just in Beck shirts alone I currently have five of the fucking things in my closet. That said, I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had to choose something different because not just my body, but apparently my entire gender was overlooked. Which is so weirdly frustrating, especially when there’s data that supports that in terms of retail therapy shopping that womxn statistically spend more money than men on clothes, in addition to this 2011 study that gets referenced a good bit that says that womxn typically spend more on merchandise than men do (they’re more likely to spend more on recordings, respect).

It’s pretty standard for band shirts to be billed as “unisex”, at least in sizes. Occasionally womxn get thrown a bone and we are offered a few shirts that are cut to be more flattering to our beautiful curvy bodies, but often times the cuts aren’t of the same designs as the unisex shirts. Furthermore, if I’m being honest, most of the time I pass on those shirts because the designs just aren’t as interesting or cool as the shirts geared towards men/”everybody”. UPDATE: A friend in the group chat above also reminded me that even with those womxn sizes that most of the time those shirts run very petite which in womxn’s clothing equates to …not very boob friendly.

Let’s continue to use Beck’s merch store as an example to speak to this. Currently, there are four womxn-specific styles on the site for run of the mill merch, three of which are very simple (1, 2, and the 3rd technically isn’t labeled as such but I’m being generous). One is, well, very boob-centric. Womxn are already sexualized enough throughout our every waking moments, so designs like the one I actually find kind of interesting could make other womxn really uncomfortable because it might invite unwanted advances. I’m supposed to be hype about a pair of mouths full of cherries over my boobs? Hell no, I’m not trying to be victim blamed if I complain about cat calling. I’m exhausted enough tryna make sure old white men stop thinking they have a say in what I do with my body. Not surprised at all this shirt is from an album cycle ago and is discounted right now. Not at all.

So out of the 26 designs that I could possibly wear (as I cannot fit into a onesie these days), only four were specifically designed with my body type in mind, but even then I’m not convinced.

Look, I’m not asking for bands merch stores to be so bloated with duplicates across various shirt styles so womxn don’t feel left out of this equation. I know from firsthand experience how complicated it can get just juggling solely a variety of unisex shirts in terms of sizing when a band is on the road. I know bands don’t want to get stuck with a bunch of stuff that needs to be deep discounted in order to get it out of their house/garage/warehouse so they can make room for more designs. I get it, you want to offer a variety, it’s cheaper to buy in bulk, and you can’t please everybody. But like, could we put a little bit more effort for HALF OF THE POPULATION WHO STATISTICALLY LOVE TO SPEND MONEY ON APPAREL?

I feel like I’m taking crazy pills.

Instead of stressing over styles, allow me to propose a super short check list as a solution for any merch designers or bands out there who print on unisex shirts.

You ready?

From now on, consider asking yourself:

Does this look good on bodies that are….

1. FLAT (as in flat chested, aka the current default)

2. PHAT (as in Pretty Hot And Tempting bodies that belong to womxn)

3. FAT (why not take an extra second to make sure the design doesn’t lose it’s magic going on a 2XL/3XL shirt while you’re working on being more mindful?)

That’s it. Flat. PHAT. FAT. Say that shit three times fast. Flat. PHAT. FAT. Flat. PHAT. FAT. Flat. PHAT. FAT.

It sounds so silly but maybe it’s just ridiculous enough to actually fucking stick. Flat. PHAT. FAT.

Flat.

PHAT.

FAT.

One second per body, maybe three if you wanna round out the average to think about boobs while you’re designing (heh). All it takes.

So let’s go back to this Dark Places design that’s a bummer for boobies.. Please keep in mind that I slapped these together really quickly in Photoshop just to quickly visualize my point, so don’t come at me if something is off centered or whatever. But I wanted to point out that there were other ways to execute this design just by altering the placement with my body in mind that could be pretty fucking cool imo.

Ready?

Same placements, two different designs. They’re admittedly less artsy, sure, but both of these will look great on basically everyone. Hell, you could even leave the back text where it was on the original for the ⚡️aesthetic⚡️.

I’m feeling generous with my constructive criticism so here’s a couple more:

So this one might not work for 1 out of 3 of our check list. Again, not asking for EVERY. SINGLE. THING. TO. ALWAYS. BE. PERFECT. ALL. THE. TIME. I’m asking for an extra 3 seconds of effort to be more intentional with the ENTIRE audience in mind while designing. Might be cool to have something wrapped around the side of the shirt instead of totally front vs. back. I’ve seen them look good on lots of folks. It’s an option.

Okay one more and then I’m out of your hair I fucking promise:

BOOM. SNEAK ATTACK: DESIGN STYLE. Nothing on the front? Oh my you’re quite the thinker aren’t you? Subtly loving a band to death where only others can see easily. I like you, random fake Beck fan wearing this shirt. I don’t feel like cobbling together everything on the front of a shirt to show this idea in reverse, but do we get what I’m saying here?

Again, it doesn’t have to be perfect every single time, but when your limited edition merch is, well, limited, it would be nice if these were the times artists at least looked like they tried.

Never thought I’d be talking about my boobs on this corner of the internet, but here we are.

Flat. PHAT. FAT.

3 seconds. All I’m asking.

Flat. PHAT. FAT.

[SONG OF THE DAY] CHILI PALMER - "S.I.T"

Something that I have been deeply missing since everything got turned upside down is singing along to music while I walk around the neighborhood if no one else is around. It’s something that I got in the habit of doing after I transitioned to city living and stopped owning a car aka the best place to sing your brains out to shit. In addition to everything feeling really heavy outside, singing with a mask on feels kinda weird.

Enter: CHILI PALMER: a new project from one of my favorite casually brilliant minds, David Gledhill (of SOULS notoriety), in collaboration with a man I’m still not convinced isn’t a literal angel sent to earth, Albert Gold. On Friday the London lads dropped, “S.I.T.”, the debut offering from their forthcoming debut self-titled EP which is slated for a November 13th release courtesy of Fierce Panda Records.

I had bumped it a few times since Friday, but something about strutting through Brooklyn yesterday and this hitting my ears though. I had this on repeat basically the whole walk home.

I will say this: belting the chorus through my mask evaporated basically every molecule of stress out of my body. I’m not exaggerating (or maybe I kind of am) when I say Albert’s voice might make your heart float out of your chest so BE CAREFUL. It’s the kind of vocal performance where I’m so convinced this dude was smiling the whole time he was singing this that I’d eat my headphones if you told me otherwise. David absolutely set him up to shine, too. This beat is just naaaassssstttyyyy in all of the right places. That bassline! Holy actual fuck.

It is impossible not to be feelin’ yourself to this, trust me. I desperately needed this, so I assume you do, too.

I want to make like a billion metaphors about how fucking well these two played off each other on this collaboration and THIS IS ONLY THE FIRST TASTE OF THE EP! Best believe your girl is about to do an electric slide into the DMs to hear the rest of this.

In the meantime, you can have a glance at the tracklisting below and smash that pre-order button because IT’S A PANDEMIC AND NO ONE IS TOURING AND THESE DUDES DESERVE ALL OF YOUR DOLLARS IF THEY MAKE YOU FEEL AS GOOD AS I DO RIGHT NOW TELLING YOU ABOUT THIS.

CHILI PALMER

Release Date: November 13, 2020

1.Intro
2. S.I.T.
3. L.U.C.
4. J.S.N.T.L.
5. A.O.M.L.
6. Unrequited

Pre-Order

It's Time To Finish What We Started And #SaveOurStages

To date, over 1.5 million live music lovers nationally have written letters to their elected officials via SaveOurStages.com, but it’s not enough. Without an influx of federal funding 90% of independent music venues across the nation will collapse before congress reconvenes in the fall.

Within the next week, both the Save Our Stages Act and Restart Act, two bills that have been introduced and can ensure the survival of independent venues across the nation, will be up for vote in Congress. It’s time to make sure that these pieces of legislation get passed. Keep in mind that the Save Our Stages Act also impacts Broadway, so this isn’t just us fighting for our sacred music spaces. It’s up to the people to fight for the communal art spaces where we gather to connect over art.

We need to step up and finish what we started, y’all.

Today the New York Independent Venue Association (NYIVA) alongside with the newly formed National Independent Venue Association (NIVA) are calling for a day of action. If you were one of the 1.5 million angels who already submitted a letter with ease via the SaveOurStages site, there’s a new letter for you to fire off to your representatives urging them to pass these bills.

The list of NIVA members/venues speaks volumes in terms of both how hard our industry was hit and how many locally owned businesses have been impacted due to COVID. I think of how many times I have felt my heart sink walking past Knitting Factory, Baby’s All Right, or Music Hall of Williamsburg since the pandemic shut down NYC, unsure of how long it’s going to be until it’s safe to be sweating profusely in sold out show, grinning from ear to ear as the bass from the band I’m seeing shakes my entire body. These spaces are sacred and precious. We need to do everything we can to protect them right now against all of this uncertainty.

I know in NYC alone there are more than 1.5 million people appreciating music or Broadway at any given moment. If show going is your moment of sanctuary against the insanity of this thing we called life, I encourage you to take time out of your day today to first (obviously) send the latest letter to your representatives and then identify at least 5 friends you love being at shows with and directly put this in front of them. You can put this in your Instagram stories or post it on Facebook all you want, too, but take a moment to check in and make sure that the people you’re eager to share space with again are doing their part, too.

Please take the time to reach out to your representatives RIGHT NOW.

[RANT] Finding My Algorhythm

Today I’m happy to report that, somehow in the midst of a global fucking pandemic that I’ve managed to find myself in probably the best mental health state of my life. As much as quarantine has been a nuisance because of being so isolated, it has really allowed me to thoughtfully reflect on things I wasn’t sure I’d ever be ready to address. Throughout this period of healing, I’ve really come to treasure how my whacky, overworked brain, and big ass heart both truly eat, sleep, and breathe music every second of my day.

I'm not sure how many people who write about music can also say they have not only worked in music but that they’ve worn as many hats as I have while working in music. Since moving to NYC I’ve worked in music publishing and at labels (in both marketing and radio). I’ve been an artist manager. I’ve even been a tour manager. In addition to working in music, I’ve also had the opportunity to work in advertising with Fortune 500 brands doing social media. I am realizing more and more that my unique perspective gained from all of these experiences is probably a lot more useful than I had initially thought.

As I float around the internet I observe a lot. For example, I make it a point to take note in which bands cluster together. I also do really nerdy, data driven things like cross-reference number of streams, monthly listeners, and social media following in order to gauge where in their career an artist is likely at, based on my personal experiences with monitoring those numbers for the artists I worked with. While it’s not entirely how I decide who gets covered in this space, it certainly helps me navigate the complexities of attempting to lend the level of support any particular artist may need.

In the past few months, a data point that I have found myself increasingly more fixated on is the impact of the playlists that listeners are discovering these artists through. Furthermore, who is behind these playlists that are helping to drive the larger numbers. 

Are you surprised to hear that normally if 5 out of 5 of the displayed playlists are all owned by Spotify, that their monthly listeners, followers, and streams  are often exponentially larger?

Didn't think so lol. 

As someone who quite often romanticizes The Algorithm™ but keeps a watchful eye on Spotify, in the past few years I’ve become more aware of their editorial playlisting and its increasingly alarming impact on music, specifically from a community standpoint. I genuinely don’t know if anyone else feels this way, but Especially In the midst of a pandemic, observing bands of all shapes and sizes tripping over themselves to laud streaming platforms (but let’s be honest it’s mostly Spotify) for chucking one of their songs on a playlist so as to stay in their good graces is just…. well, it’s just as weird as it is just really fucking depressing. 

This is all while knowing full well that touring off the table for the foreseeable future. Thus it  makes sense that everyone is collectively scrambling to stay afloat. That said, something about witnessing this just makes the future look so…. bleak. I know these kinds of shoutouts are fairly standard for the industry for other formats. For example, it definitely makes more sense to shout out a radio DJ. The space on the airwaves is limited and there’s a lot of vetting that is involved to take a chance playing an artist on the radio. Something like this I think a DJ is more than entitled to being acknowledged for their efforts. 

But with playlists, especially with how limitless they seem to be, are they really generating enough value? It shouldn’t surprise you to hear that I’ve made a fuckload of playlists in my time on this planet so far. I can tell you that once you get the hang of how you want them to flow that they can be assembled fairly quickly and easily. For these platforms to do this it is not a lot of *work* to throw a metaphorical bone to a band by chucking a track into one of the probably thousands of editorial playlists that exist. To be sure, I am not discounting the overall taste or attentiveness to details of making a good mix, I just know that in-tools like Truffle Pig exist (which I imagine by now they have integrated into the tool they use for playlisting submissions). I am saying that there is no scarcity to the number of playlists in the way that there is obvious scarcity in the example of an artist attempting to get radio play. 

The thing that is concerning me the most these days is - what happens after that song hits a playlist? With the sheer volume of genres and mood-related playlists that Spotify’s editorial team can crank out all while knowing that there are algorithms at play tweaking a good number of these to keep you on the platform consuming and accumulate more data for either them to monetize like they apparently do with data on our moods (ps labels have been using Spotify to gather data on us, too). If I give Apple Music shit for being more concerned with being in the device business and Google the data business instead of solely the music business, then I really  simply can’t ignore the very blatant move on Spotify’s part to be more in the audio streaming business than the music business. I know there are a lot of factors at play here and I’m not tryna have a heated debate right now about streaming royalties because FUCK ME that all is so messy, political and honestly out of my jurisdiction (not to mention Mark Mulligan already has some meaningful thoughts on all that anyway).

For this moment I’d mostly just like to pose the following questions:

Is essentially ⚡️being paid in exposure⚡️ from Spotify’s editorial team actually impactful enough for musicians?

Especially right now, is scrapping for a shot at their reach actually worth it in terms of fan conversion? How does quality vs. quantity come into play here? Additionally, in the wake of how clear it’s become that the music community as a whole has some major cleaning up to do to be a truly inclusive and safe space - are we sure this approach to artist discovery is being mindful enough of that?

Look, I know it’s not the job of the massive industry gatekeepers to both exhaustively investigate and nudge every artist they’ve ever given the time of day to a certain level of success every single step of the way. I also know obviously that individual fans should be doing their own level of due diligence as both consumers and community members upon discovering a new favorite artist. But here’s another question to ask - are the majority of Spotify’s users aware of things like the massive housecleaning of sexual predators underway in the industry right now? If so - where are they learning about this and is it always after the fact and not an opportunity to dodge a predatory bullet? 

Meanwhile, it’s no secret that the state of music journalism is just as disheartening to be a part of. Even before the pandemic hit we all helplessly witnessed massive layoffs at a plethora of publications, including but not limited to music. In addition to the majority of the sites that were crucial for discovery during the Music Blogging Boom drying up, we’re now watching some of the most brilliant critical minds in our community pivoting to personal newsletters while they’re unemployed as a means to contribute to the community while also maintaining credibility. As much as I find this to be deeply admirable, I’m just as concerned with how this will play out in the long term as I am with the gap that I feel is widening between an artist’s initial exposure and career longevity.

So….

….. why the fuck am I saying all of this? 🤔

Well for one, I feel like if I didn’t air the above concerns that I wouldn’t be true to myself or to the community I have loved and lived to serve for the majority of my life. More importantly, and it makes me really uncomfortable to be this vulnerable, I’d like to use this opportunity while I have your attention to acknowledge that for the past few years I’ve struggled a lot with knowing how best to contribute to an industry that honestly has made me feel like I was no longer needed while simultaneously having a slew of strangers begging me to devour an onslaught of music both inside and out of my blogger inbox, form quality rapid-fire reviews,  promote, and maintain relationships with either publicists or artists directly.

Y’all, it’s really fucking hard being essentially an editorial staff of one, especially when your standards for artist coverage goes beyond mostly regurgitating the contents of a press release.  Furthermore, it has become increasingly difficult to not let my frustrations of not being respected as such get in the way of wanting to do right by the artists that come into my life in the variety of serendipitous ways they do. I mean fuck, within the confines of my inbox specifically, I am expected to respond to pitches from folks who either have clearly never even looked on my website based on what they send alongside the (let’s be honest) an unnecessary number of frantic follow up emails I get from familiar faces in hopes of coverage. A reminder that, although I am often presumptively pressured to deliver the same output that this specific editorial staff of one is not doing this full time nor am I being compensated for this work. It has taken me literally everything in my being not to rage quit altogether. To be clear, THIS IS ME ✨NOT✨ RAGE QUITTING. In fact, it’s quite the opposite.

I guess this is all to say, if not for the sheer fact that I derive so much joy in sharing music, that I would have stopped throwing money at GoDaddy and Squarespace a long time ago. In my lifetime I’ve found sharing music to be the thing that has allowed me to best articulate my inner world to other people as a means to connect. Even before SKOA, the deep connections I made through music were personally transformative. Still, being afforded this platform has brought people into my life that mean so much to me that I’m in tears at the thought of a life without them. This is my way of making sure it’s known that I intend to continue to honor what music has done for me by doing the work and figuring out in real-time alongside all of you how to best foster a rich community of people who intend to help elevate and champion stories of musicians from various walks of life. I hope to fill in the gaps between that first dopamine hit from a song that grabs you to the second we get back to shows, whenever that may be. With (ugh) no end in sight to quarantine I really have nothing to lose here other than maybe money that could have been spent on records instead of overheard site costs. That said,  If you’re up to indulge me in this endeavor and show support, I’ve created a Patreon which I am open to tweaking to make sure the energy exchange is sufficient. In the meantime, as I find my algorhythm here, please know that I am open to feedback to what you think would be helpful or cool to be a part of.

In the meantime, because it wouldn’t be an update from me without music, please enjoy a collection of a fraction of the songs that helped me get to where we are now.

[Album Review] Miro Shot - 'Content'

In the final track, “Boston Dynamic”,  off Miro Shot’s debut EP Servers, recently my mind has casually fixated on a lyric quite frequently as we complete our 2nd month of quarantine in New York,

“As soon as we begin again I’ll restore our fallen friends.”

Since I have been granted the honor of getting albums in advance, I had already been playing their debut full-length, Content, for quite some time before the world ground to a halt. I had also already written something quite lovely about the album, delighted with myself that a cohesive group of words actually came to me that quickly about a record that I was obviously very taken with. However, as it came time to publish those words, the context of how this album would enter the world completely changed. Even so, listening to Content with a totally different perspective of the world, I firmly stand by my stance that Miro Shot is the soundtrack to the future we deserve. I know that in addition to this whole ordeal shining a light on the multitude of societal problems across the globe that  a lot of people have been saying that they’re devoting some portion of their quarantine taking stock in their pre-quarantine lives and thinking about the types of changes they want to make for themselves and their communities. It is my hope that Content be included in a portion of that meditative process.

Opening with, “A World You Made Yourself”, the broody track kicks off the album’s venture into self-exploration, thoughtfully navigating the boundless complexities of our very modern, very online world. Tackling society’s cumbersome relationship with technology and all that it entails, from the rampant online harassment women often face to the way that social media distorts our realities while disguising itself as a way to “connect” to our loved ones and everything in between, Content is essentially that moment when you decide to switch your phone to airplane mode and shift your focus to where you’re at in that very instance, as well as every subsequent screen tap once you switch back for that matter.

Tracks that hit so differently since the world changed: “Joined At The Hip”, album closer “I.R.L.”, with the most dramatic transformation being, “Seven Seas”, featuring Mary Wilson of Supremes fame. I already revered the track as a stunning glitch gospel in its own right, but the imagery that the chorus alone evokes in the current climate is enough to simultaneously warm your heart and send shivers down your spine:

 “When you’re lost but you can’t stand the silence / When your face looks nothing it used to do / When the sand has shifted instead / And that crown was pulled from your head / I’ve got you and you’ve got me.”

Without a doubt the world is going to be a very different place post-pandem. Hopefully it’s a world as full of potential as Miro Shot envisions, mindful of the obstacles we need to address in order to succeed. The cosmic timeliness of this band and the relevancy of Content and the future it stands for, especially right now, is something I sincerely hope folks won’t sleep on.

Content is available now on all DSPs.

Full album stream: